God’s Roles In Marriage

Key Verse

“Wives, be subject to your own husbands…Husbands, love your wives…”
– Ephesians 5:22a,25a

Basic Biblical Understanding

In a previous article, we discussed God’s design for marriage. Take a moment and read that article before trying to apply the truths from this article. Until a couple is willing to pursue God’s design for marriage, they will struggle with God’s roles and responsibilities within marriage. The roles and responsibilities flow out of the design.

What are the roles and responsibilities for the husband?

• The husband is the spiritual head of the home (Ephesians 5:23). He is not a dictator that decrees his wishes; he is a spiritual leader who leads and loves his wife well. His leadership is to be characterized by sacrificial service to His wife.

• The husband is to love his wife as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25–30). How did Jesus love the church? He sacrificed and gave Himself for the Church. When the husband is willing to emulate that type of leadership in his marriage, his actions will support Christ’s sanctifying work in his wife’s life (Ephesians 5:26–27).

• When a husband fulfills his roles, his wife feels loved and secure. The greatest needs of the wife are to feel loved and secure in the relationship.

What are the roles and responsibilities for the wife?

• The wife is the submissive heart of the home (Proverbs 31:10–31). She is called to love, nurture, support, and submit to her husband’s servant leadership. Her submission is not done grudgingly, but graciously as unto the Lord (Ephesians 5:22–24).

• The wife is not inferior to the husband. Men and women have equal dignity, worth, and value in the eyes of God (Galatians 3:28). All Christians (men and women) are to “be subject to one another” (Ephesians 5:21). But for marriage to work, God has given each spouse complementary roles. When the husband and wife embody those roles, the marriage is strengthened and each spouse is fulfilled in the relationship.

• When the wife submits in this way, her husband feels respected and affirmed. The greatest needs of the husband are to know he has the respect and support of his wife.

Verses (ask God to to show you how they apply to your life)

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her…”
– Ephesians 5:25

“So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies…”
– Ephesians 5:28a

“Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.”
– Ephesians 5:22

“…and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”
– Ephesians 5:33b

Helpful Questions and Application

1. Read God’s roles for husbands and wives in Ephesians 5:22–33. Are you fulfilling your roles in the marriage? Remember, God does not release us from our roles and responsibilities because our spouse has neglected his or her roles and responsibilities.

2. What is the most difficult part of fulfilling the roles God has given you? Have you shared these concerns with your spouse?

3. Do you know of another godly couple who emulates these roles within their marriage? If so, reach out to that couple and ask if they could share any truths that God has shared with them.

Additional Resources

Scripture references: Genesis 2:18–25; Mark 10:6–9; Ephesians 5:22–33; Colossians 3:18–19; 1 Corinthians 7:1-16

WordTruth Article:
“Loving an ‘Unlovable’ Mate”
“Need More Love or Use the Love You Have”